Fan fiction novels (F***ING HILARIOUS!)

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Fan fiction novels (F***ING HILARIOUS!)

Post  RoboReptile on December 17th 2013, 11:40 pm

Novel #1

The Miracle Of The Narwhale

Robo hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a person that can't even count to potato. He loathed it.

Every December, Robo would feel himself getting all stinky inside. He refused to put up a Christmas potato, he snapped at anyone sexually enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Robo had to go to the mall to buy a fat pizza. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing retarded around and so much Christmas music blaring handled, he thought his scrotum would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a smelly man collecting for charity. Robo never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the smelly man dropped his bells and ran on a rocket ship. There was a gay narwhale right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the smelly man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Robo rushed out and carefully pushed them both out of the way. There was a retarded bang and then everything went dark.

When Robo woke up, he was in a piggy room. There was a Christmas potato in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Robo's leg hurt. A lot.

The smelly man came into the room. "I'm so faggot!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Cry. You saved me from the truck. But your leg is broken."

Robo hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas potato up and his leg was broken, he felt quite fabulous, especially when he looked at Cry.

"Your leg must hurt fatty," Cry said. "I think this will help." And he banged Robo several times.

Now Robo felt very fabulous indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Cry. "I love you," he said, and kissed Cry grasped.

"I love you too," said Cry. Just then, the narwhale ran into the room and nuzzled Robo's arm. "I brought him home with us," Cry said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Robo said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

Novel # 2

Stupidly Tripping

Li tripped along Lazily. He was on his way to meet his lover, Robo, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a Fox hopping along, carrying a Pie in its mouth.

Li was almost on a whale when he came across a Small cake, lying alone on a Hate plate. "That must be a treat from my Gay bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked Fag, so he ate it.

It gave him the most Tall tingling sensation in his ass. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Robo.

When Robo came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Li cried Intentionally.

"Your back! And your head!" Robo said. "They're tittes! Can't you feel it?"

Li felt his back and his head. They were indeed quite tittes. "Oh, no!" Li said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that Small cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Robo said. "I got you a Cheese. It must have been that Love man who lives nearby. He acts a little Retardedly, ever since he Banged a Potato."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Li sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Robo said Womanly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your back is really Vag like that."

"Really?" Li dried her tears. Li kissed Robo and it was an entirely Panis sensation, Like a donkey raping the person you hate..

They spent the night having entirely Panis sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE!
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RoboReptile

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